AND THE WINNER IS…
Former Senator and Vice Presidential candidate, John Edwards for his ability to cover an amazing array of categories. After denying multiple times that he had an affair with campaign vendor Rielle Hunter in 2006, Edwards admitted in a statement and interview that he had been lying. He gets points for saying in a statement that he “became increasingly egocentric and narcissistic” – ya think? – but his assertion that he had told his wife, who is suffering from an incurable form of cancer, was weak. His defense, “I’m not the first person to do this,” was insulting as was his reference to Senator and Republican Presidential candidate John McCain saying that he “made mistakes in the past in respect to his first marriage.” Edwards attacked President Clinton during the Monica Lewinsky mess saying Clinton had “shown a remarkable disrespect for his office, for the moral dimensions of leadership, for his friends, for his wife, for his precious daughter. It is breathtaking to me the level to which that disrespect has risen.” There is no “what could he have said” commentary. We agree that ‘it’s breathtaking…the ' level to which that disrespect has risen.’
USA Today, “Past sex scandals’ lessons go unheeded,” Aug. 11, 2008
THE RUNNER-UP
This month the runner-up is President Clinton, who made the comment, “I am not a racist,” on a trip to Africa where he was asked if he had any regrets about how he handled himself during his wife’s campaign for the presidential nomination.Clinton began by saying, “It would be counter productive to talk about it,” and then, of course, that’s just what he did, adding, “I’m not a racist, I never made a racist comment, and I didn’t attack him personally.”
ABC News, “Bill Clinton to ABC: ‘I am not a racist,’” Aug. 3, 2008
AND THE REST
“My dad is not an idiot,” said Jack Osbourne, about his rocker dad Ozzy Osbourne, and how he came across – as a “senile, funny, bumbling guy” -- on the reality show about the family.This is not exactly a ringing endorsement, since Jack also admitted that “Yeah, my dad can be that guy, but it’s not all of him.”
People Magazine, “Jack Osbourne: ‘My Dad is not an idiot,’” Aug. 26, 2008
“OK, folks, this is not O.J. Simpson,” said attorney Jose Baez about his client, Casey Anthony, the mother of missing 3-year-old Caylee. The lawyer has been watching too many TV shows.
Associated Press, “Caylee’s mom mobbed as she leaves jail,” Aug. 21, 2008
“I’m not just some knucklehead head case who’s bipolar, [like] everybody is always saying, I’m Ron Artest,” said Sacramento Kings player, Ron Artest, in the process of being traded to the Houston Rockets. This man needs to stop talking. He added, “I’m not a selfish player,” “I’m not demanding anything,” “They gotta come up with a better story than Ron’s crazy.”
ESPN.com, “Conciliatory Artest reassures Yao on chemistry concerns,” Aug. 1, 2008
“UBS categorically rejects any claim that the firm engaged in a widespread campaign to move…inventory from the firm’s own books and into private client accounts,” said the bank, facing fraud charges in Massachusetts and New York that it was pushing auction rate securities to clients when internal documents showed deep concern over the credit markets.This is one more example of how e-mail will always become public, and if a company is saying one thing internally and another externally, it will get out. UBS e-mails obtained and released by the regulatory authorities show internal risk managers complaining that they had too much inventory of the securities in August of 2007, the same month an executive had a conference call with hundreds of brokers encouraging them to sell more of the product to clients as the “best and most effective way of hedging our exposure.” Another staffer sent the same executive an e-mail noting that a major client wanted to get out of the investments, and the executive sent along that e-mail with one of his own, noting, “This is a huge albatross.” Note the power of the word, “albatross,” which appears in the title of the lengthy article.
Business Week, “The Investment ‘Albatross” at UBS,” Aug. 11, 2007
“We are not arguing that the United States should condone terrorism or those who support it or that the guilty should not be punished severely,” wrote The New York Times in an editorial about the military commission’s decision in the case against Guantanamo detainee Salim Ahmed Hamdan. Of course, given all the restrictions the Times wants to load on the proceedings-treating terrorists as regular criminals- that would be the result.
The New York Times, “Guilty as Ordered,” Aug. 7, 2008
WRONG THING TO SAY
“It looks gross, but it’s delicious,” said a spokesman for the Whole Foods Market chain, leading a tour through one of their stores pointing out reasonably priced items, like tofu, as a way of combating the store’s reputation for quality but pricey goods. We can’t get past the “gross” word. What was he thinking? Saying this to a reporter?
International Herald Tribune, “Whole Foods fights as consumers recoil,” Aug. 16-17, 2008
AND MORE E-MAIL EXAMPLES…
“Come on down and visit us in the vomitorium,” wrote the director of the auction-rate securities desk at Merrill Lynch to a co-worker a year ago, noting that the market for the specialized securities was “collapsing.” Merrill is also the subject of investigations regarding public comments touting the securities and its internal assessment of what was happening. Internal e-mails again show the disparity. In February of this year, they issued a public report saying, “Reports of the imminent demise of the auction market seem to be greatly exaggerated. We continue to be impressed by the auction market’s resiliency.” That was months after the “vomitorium” remark. Other employees noted that there would be “No more $2K dinners at CRU,” an expensive Manhattan restaurant. This is another example of communication wildly out of alignment and of a significant lack of leadership. I’m with the writer from Forbes who told Marketplace that he thought the executives should disgorge their bonuses having led their companies over the cliff.
Bloomberg, “Merrill ‘Co-opted’ Analysts backed Auction-Rate Debt,” Aug. 1, 2008
VIDEO – A New Category
The winner of the dumbest video of the month shows a Burger King employee who took a bath in the restaurant’s sink while another employee filmed him and then posted it on MySpace. The local health department saw it, as did Burger King’s corporate headquarters. I guess we should be grateful he wanted to be clean…
Consumerist.com, “Burger King Employee Takes Bath in Sink, Feels Wrath of Health Dept,” Aug. 12, 2008
NEW MEDIA MISTAKES
A nurse at a prestigious hospital in Sweden posted pictures from a patient’s brain surgery operation to her Facebook account. A hospital spokesperson said the actions violated their ethics code, that the nurse was “devastated” by the consequences of her actions. How can a nurse be so clueless?
AP/Stockholm, “Nurse Could Lose Job After Putting Surgery Photos on Facebook,” Aug. 12, 2008
THE EVER SHRINKING SOUND BITE
“Since 1913, the length of the average presidential sentence has fallen from 35 words to 22. Between Nixon and the second Bush, the average presidential sound bite shrank from 42 seconds to 7.” “A century ago, presidential speeches were pitched at a college reading level; today, they’re down to eighth grade.”
New York Magazine, “Raise High the Rafters,” quoting The Anti-Intellectual Presidency, Elvis T. Lim, June 30-July 7, 2008
DOES CULTURE AFFECT BEHAVIOR?
A high school student at Krugersdorp, South Africa, arrived at school with masks and swords mimicking the heavy metal band Slipknot, and then killed another student and wounded other students and employees. Slipknot’s debut album in 1996 was titled, “Mate, Feed, Kill, Repeat.” Their latest album is "All Hope is Gone," to be released soon.
Mail & Guardian, “Krugersdorp school rocked by ‘Satanic’ killing,” Aug. 8, 2008
HUMOR FROM THE BENCH
Our inclusion of the couplet from the judge protesting an extremely lengthy “brief,” prompted the attached order from District Judge James Nowlin on a dispute between Wal-Mart and a plaintiff about where a deposition would be taken, San Antonio, Texas, or Bentonville, Ark., where Wal-Mart is, of course, headquartered. We won’t spoil it but it is in its entirety here. A must read for University of Texas fans.
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