Bimbo Banter


BIMBO Nominees for December 2007


  • Bimbo
  • December 1, 2007
  • by Spaeth Communications

Bimbo blog image christmas

AND THE WINNER IS A PICTURE !!! 

The website, www.alsbridge.com, says the company wants to help you reduce internal conflict and gain consensus. This submission came to us from a reader who noted, “This wouldn’t be my choice for the illustration!” We agree.

 

AND THE WINNING BIMBO

There are no headless cats. There are no missing children,” says Donald Lewis, Chief Executive Officer of the Witch School which (no pun intended) opened in Rossville, Ill. (They could use a lesson in public relations.)

USAToday, “At this school, spelling has a new meaning,” Nov. 9, 2007

 

RUNNER-UP

No one is ready to declare it DOA,” said White House spokeswoman, Dana Perino, about the nomination of former federal judge, Michael Mukasey. (For anyone who wonders if I’m employed by this Administration, you only have to see the number of BIMBO denials to know they’re on their own.)

The Washington Post, “More sour over AG nominee’s statements,” Nov. 5, 2007

 

WINNING LAWYER BIMBO COMMENT

He sure as hell didn’t get bribed by Dick Scruggs or anyone else in his law firm,” said Scrugg’s attorney, John Keker, about federal indictments charging the multi-millionaire tort lawyer with attempting to bribe Judge Henry Lackey. (The indictments reveal that Judge Lackey reported the bribery attempt to authorities who installed recording equipment in his office, capturing an intermediary for Scruggs discussing the bribe and handing over $40,000. We’re looking forward to seeing that videotape. Scruggs’ attorney should have said, “We’ll try this in the appropriate venue, not in the media.”)

The Wall Street Journal, “Witness Talks on Scruggs Case,” Nov. 30, 2007

 

“I can look you right in the eye and tell you I had nothing to do with either of those instances,” Illinois police sergeant Drew Peterson told The TODAY Show about his missing fourth wife and about the accidental death of his third wife. Peterson seemed to contradict his story that his wife, Stacy, left him and their two small children for another man. “She never told me she was seeing another man. Maybe she did. ‘She found somebody else.’ Those were her exact words.” (Sergeant Peterson’s verbal gaffes are the least of his problems, but we, the public, don’t believe his claim that his wife left him. He did say one thing we agree with, “I’m afraid of the media.”)

The Today Show, “Is he a killer? Police sergeant on missing wife, death of third,”

Nov. 14, 2007

 

“I had no knowledge of abuse. I did not and would never participate in any such cover-up,” said the headmistress of The Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls who was dismissed from her position after allegations that a staff member had sexually assaulted students.

AP, “Ex-Oprah Headmistress Denies Cover-up,” Nov. 9, 2007

 

WRONG THING TO SAY CATEGORY has some interesting examples this month:

 

I know people think she’s this gold-digging social climber,” said Allyson Lieberman, trying to defend her friend, Jessica Seinfeld, wife of comedian and multi-millionaire Jerry Seinfeld and author of a new cookbook for children. (With “friends” like this, Mrs. Seinfeld doesn’t need enemies taking shots at her.)

The New York Times, “How I Met Jerry Seinfeld, Scene 1, Take 2,” Nov. 4, 2007

 

The “TRUST NO ONE” award goes to Duane “Dog” Chapman, the “bounty hunter.” He doesn’t need more attention from us for using the “N” word. What’s stunning is that his son recorded the conversation and then sold it to a tabloid.

AP, “ ‘Dog’ Chapman Sorry for Using N-Word,” Nov. 1, 2007

 

IF YOU CAN’T SAY SOMETHING NICE, DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL

A reminder to Heather Mills, Paul McCartney’s almost-ex wife, who ranted and raved about a “hate campaign” by the British press against her. (Her press agent dropped her in late October as she was beginning a press tour, although it’s unclear what she was touring to talk about. Someone needs to tell her that negative comments, particularly about a beloved legend like McCartney, always boomerang back to the naysayer.)

People Magazine, “Heather Mills Caught in New Press Backlash,” Nov. 1, 2007

 

AND ANOTHER LAWYER COMMENT

From the attorney for Kelsey Peterson, the Nebraska middle school teacher who fled to Mexico with a 16-year-old student with whom she had been having an affair and who turned out to be an illegal immigrant. When asked whether the charge from the boy that they had sexual relations was true, lawyer James Martin Davis had no comment. (This was his first mistake. “No comment” is interpreted as a confirmation of the question.)

He then went on to attack the teenager, saying, “The kid is sophisticated. He shaves. He has a mustache,” and arguing that the teen went with Peterson willingly. Finally, he lapsed into incoherence, saying that when the two were found in a parking lot, “It is my understanding he was grooming her and she wasn’t grooming him.” (As if they’re some sort of primate troop?)

AP, “Attorney for teacher: Teen is ‘no victim,’” Nov. 13, 2007

 

“I support hate crimes,” said Sen. Bill Nelson, D-Fl. (He apparently meant that he supported a provision in a Defense authorization bill to include a clause that certain crimes can be labeled ‘hate crimes,’ thus carrying a heavier penalty. Personally, we think that crime is crime, and ‘hate crimes’ pander to interest groups by creating multiple categories of intent.)

Defense Daily, “SASC chairman vows to pass Defense authorization bill,” Nov. 19, 2007

 

AN EXAMPLE OF THE DIFFICULTY IN REBUTTING ANONYMOUS SOURCES:

Comes from Merrill Lynch’s statement about a Wall Street Journal article, based on unidentified sources, “that inappropriate transactions ‘may have been designed’ to avoid write-downs that ‘might have been’ required earlier in the year.” Merrill issued a statement reprising The Wall Street Journal’s words and adding: “The story is non-specific and relies on unidentified sources. We have no reason to believe any such inappropriate transactions occurred. Such transactions would clearly violate Merrill Lynch policy,” and concluded with a boilerplate paragraph about the firm. (Merrill was in a bind here. If they don’t acknowledge the story and make some sort of response, they appear to confirm it, but repeating it, well, repeats it. We like the approach used by The Coca-Cola Company years ago when a financial newsletter published a speculation that Coke was about to purchase another company. Coke issued a press release saying, “We neither confirm nor deny speculation about acquisitions…” but went on to say, “…but we would like to add that the (name of publication) is clueless.”)

Business Wire, “Merrill Lynch Responds to Wall Street Journal Story,” Nov. 2, 2007

 

 

WHAT’S IN A NAME?

When a cattle trailer pulled into a McDonalds in West Haven, Utah, eight 800 pound cows escaped. Weber County sheriffs rounded them up, dubbing the effort, “Operation Hamburger Helper.”

AP, “Cows flee after seeing McDonalds,” Nov. 13, 2007

 

TRENDS TO REPORT

Podcasts used as a training tool went from five percent to 15 percent in one year, according to Training Magazine.

Training Magazine, “2007 Industry Report,” Nov./Dec. 2007

 

INVENTED QUOTES – A New Category

It’s not just “The Onion” which makes up whimsical news stories, highly quotable but, alas, not true. The Associated Press reported Paris Hilton’s comments about drunken elephants, “The elephants get drunk all the time. It’s becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them.” The quote rocketed around news shows and the Internet and landed Hilton back on the late night talk shows, but it wasn’t true. (The disturbing aspect of this is that The Associated Press quoted World Entertainment News Network’s website, highlighting an increasing trend. The ‘mainstream’ news feels it can quote anything that appeared before, even in the most undependable blogs.)

AP, “Paris Hilton speaks out on drunken elephants,” Nov. 13, 2007

AP, “Corrective: Paris Hilton story,” Nov. 13, 2007

 

MISUSE OF STATISTICS

Anyone interested in this category should get Thomas Sowell’s column, “Trying to convince the public of something? Use statistics, says Thomas Sowell. You can make them say anything.” The economist asks how the media can say that the rich are getting richer and the poor poorer and incomes in general are stagnating. He analyzes sources of statistics in a way the average reader can understand and shows how reporters either use statistics to further a political agenda or just don’t understand.

The Dallas Morning News, “Trying to convince the public?” Nov. 26, 2007

 

APOLOGY EXAMPLE

Here’s a good example of an apology from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, where actor Dennis Quaid’s premature twins were mistakenly given dangerously high doses of heparin. The hospital issued a statement saying this was a “preventable error,” and a personal statement from the chief medical officer saying, “I want to extend my deepest apologies to the families who were affected by this situation, and we will continue to work with them on any concerns or questions they may have.”

People Magazine, “Dennis Quaid’s Newborn Twins Hospitalized,” Nov. 20, 2007  


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