Bimbo Banter

A “Stunning” Overreaction

  • Wildcard
  • September 25, 2015
  • by Merrie Spaeth

09 25 15 a stunning overreaction

Does anyone know Alex, a lawyer in the U.K. who had the misfortune to be pleasant and reach out to Charlotte, another attorney, with the comment that her picture on LinkedIn was “stunning?” (Plus three exclamation points.)

If this seems harmless enough – even charming – to you, read on.

Charlotte replied:


I find your message offensive. I am on linked-in for business purposes not to be approached about my physical appearance or to be objectified by sexist men. The eroticization of women’s physical appearance is a way of exercising power over women. It silences women’s professional attributes as their physical appearance becomes the subject.

Unacceptable and misogynistic behaviour. Think twice before sending another woman (half your age) such a sexist message.


On behalf of all other reasonable women, thank you Alex for your enthusiasm! Charlotte did post eye-catching photos, although it’s not clear whose eyes she wanted to catch. Not a normal, pleasant gentleman apparently, and that’s what you are. However, I do have a bone to pick with you. You apologized profusely – as if you had done something wrong. May I suggest sending Charlotte this response instead?


I am sorry you are so offended, and your picture was stunning although I’m not sure you why chose and posted it if you didn’t want to attract any attention. I can see that it doesn’t reveal who you are inside. Your response back to me did that. I suggest that you immediately acquire the book by U.S. consultant and Ph.D. Larry Senn. He has something called the “mood elevator,” that contains excellent advice for how we should relate to each other in the workplace. My two favorite admonitions of his are “Stay curious” and “Assume positive intent.” Life will look a lot better if you take his advice to heart.

You could type “but that would require finding your heart,” but then delete it out. Too snippy, and Charlotte will have enough disappointments given her attitude.

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